Vulnerability and Authenticity: Meanings and Context for Music Educators

In my view, vulnerability and authenticity are inextricably linked. Without authenticity, one cannot truly be vulnerable, and one usually feels vulnerable in part because the authentic self is at the forefront of the endeavor. In scholarly literature, there are many definitions for both vulnerability and authenticity from which to choose. This chapter is not designed to provide an exhaustive literature review that cites hundreds of years of writing and research from philosophers, scientists, and scholars in an effort to whittle it all down to a comprehensive definition of vulnerability.

In an effort to avoid feeling more vulnerable about successfully writing that type of background, in addition to preventing readers from feeling vulnerable while reading it for fear of having to recall all of that information, I will instead share ideas from the literature that I have found the most relevant to my experiences and the experiences of the many music teachers with whom I have worked in the hope that these ideas will resonate with readers and not do too much damage to my professional credibility. I do hope that the personal stories I share later will be received with mercy, as well. The remainder of this section includes a professional context for vulnerability and authenticity in order for readers to recognize themselves and their students in the personal stories that follow.

In Daring Greatly (2012), Brene Brown defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure” (p. 34). Of particular interest to musicians and teachers is how Brown describes actions, thoughts, or feelings that illustrate her definition of vulnerability:

To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation—that’s also vulnerability. To let ourselves sink into the j oyful moments of our lives even though we know that they are fleeting, even though the world tells us not to be too happy lest we invite disaster—that’s an intense form of vulnerability. (p. 34)

Her words let ourselves in the above description connect with the word willingness in the following definition of vulnerability: “willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weakness to be seen or known; willingness to risk being hurt or attacked” (Dictionary. com, n.d.). As songwriters and teachers, it seems that the nature of what we do lends itself or even requires us to possess a willingness to engage in vulnerable artistic and interpersonal experiences. Karen Salvador (2019) directly states, “Teaching music is an act of vulnerability” (p. 28) due in part to the stressful working environments, cognitive distortions, perfectionist tendencies, and numbing behaviors that accompany the emotion-filled connections we make with our students and with music itself on a daily basis. Mara Culp and Sara Jones (2020) point out that music educators can also face uncomfortable moments when disagreeing with others in the profession by stating, “It is not the belief or behavior that is scrutinized but the individuals themselves. Disagreements of philosophy can sometimes devolve into personal attacks that call a person’s ability, character, and value as a person into question” (p. 77).

Although Salvador, Culp, and Jones have begun to discuss the vulnerabilities of teacher-musicians and student-musicians and the challenges that vulnerabilities present in classrooms, we are apparently still collectively feeling, well, vulnerable. Lauren Kapalka Richerme (2016) states, “Despite the pervasive potential for teachers and students to experience vulnerability during musically educative endeavors, vulnerability remains almost completely absent from music education philosophy and discourse” (p. 28).

Vulnerability connects with authenticity because, as I stated earlier, I believe that when we feel vulnerable, we are usually sharing parts of our true selves that may have been hidden. To be authentic, one is “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character” (Merriam-Webster.com, n.d.). Regarding the meaning of authenticity in relation to teaching, Patricia Cranton and Ellen Carusetta (2004) state, “Authenticity is a multifaceted concept that includes at least four parts: being genuine, showing consistency between values and actions, relating to others in such a way as to encourage their authenticity, and living a critical life” (p. 7).

When music teachers consider authenticity, they may feel the need to make room for musical identities as well as teacher identities. Kristen Pellegrino (2009) indicates that music teachers have the added challenge of “teacher versus performer identity conflict” (p. 40). So, who we are and what we do as musicians may be in contrast to who we are and what we do as teachers, and that requires careful personal reflection to determine which parts of our musicianship are the most authentic and how those parts are demonstrated and modeled in our teaching. We must be careful to create environments where are our students can discover their authentic musical identities without losing our own!