Marriage in ancient Greece

Marriage in ancient Greece was based on the concept of maintaining the legitimacy of citizenship and the transferral of property in the ancient polis. While marriages were monogamous, it did not preclude the man from having concubines and relations with other women. In the Homeric poems, the aristocrats commonly had relations with slaves and captives, even bringing them into their homes. It was not uncommon for these relations to produce children who were raised in the household, and even if they were not viewed as legitimate, they had rights to succession, and even citizenship.

Marriage was meant to be for the public good, so the city’s citizen population could grow. Most cities imposed penalties on men who did not marry. Women were under the control of male family members, who negotiated with the prospective groom and his family. Part of this negotiation included the giving of gifts, as seen in the Homeric poems, where gifts such as livestock, captives, and war booty were given to show respect and union between partners.

The purpose was to ensure legitimate marriage in which heirs received both status and wealth. Only legitimate heirs could receive the status and wealth of the parents; illegitimate children could receive wealth, but not status. Descent was patriarchal, without overlap or matriarchal origin, with sons as heirs and daughters sent to other households. These households would perpetuate themselves with sons as heirs, and if no sons existed, sons-in-law were taken as blood relatives. Finally, the household was divided at the time of the father’s death. Sons inherited equal parts and set up their own households.

During the post-Homeric period, marriage contracts continued in the same way; that is, marriage allowed the continual transference of land in a hierarchical fashion. This system limited the city’s growth, as land was not divided. Here, women became part of the citizen body, without political rights, but they could control their own property. Cities like Sparta and Gortyn on Crete were examples of this type of system. In the city of Gortyn, a law code gave regulations concerning marriage, citizenship, and rights. For example, if a slave man and a free woman had a child, its status depended on where the child lived—in the father’s household, the child would be a slave, and if in the mother’s, the child would be free. If both parents were slaves, the child belonged to the master’s household.

Other cities like Athens decided to abandon the hierarchal approach and allow intercommunications among the households. Here, they could transmit wealth regardless of sex. Daughters were seen as perpetually under the control of their husbands, not as independent. In Athens, the reforms by Solon broke the old household system, which was based on land and its transmission. Instead, the Athenians used wealth classified as visible entities, such as land, houses, and slaves, or hidden ones, delineated as money or mortgages. Here, the dowry became the crucial element, with money or movable property given in the marriage contract. Solon dictated that the men of the household could make the contract for the daughter’s marriage, but he eliminated land as part of the dowry. This process allowed both wealthy and poor families to give away their daughters, as well as encouraging reproduction and other relationships to prevent civil war. This would result in the transfer of women in an egalitarian fashion to avoid the need for land to be transferred.

This did not solve the situation, though; that did not happen until Cleisthenes, who made citizenship by the demes so as to prevent people from discrediting each other based on their father’s names. Under his system, only the father had to be a citizen. In most cities, such as Athens, both parents had to be free so that their offspring would be free citizens. This originally did not mean that both parents had to be citizens of Athens; that would only occur beginning in 451, with the passage of a law mandating that both parents had to be Athenian citizens.

As with other cities, the marriages of daughters, with or without brothers, controlled the way that society reacted to the matrimonial system. In both systems, the bride was given to the husband by a male relative. The dowry that the bride brought to the marriage was not available for the groom to spend; it was her security, for her future protection. Both sides exchanged gifts to cement their relationship, showing that it was a contract, not simply the bride’s family selling or rejecting her. She was in fact given in exchange for the gifts, and she brought her own ability to contribute to the marriage, in the form of the dowry, which originally was meant to produce income for the family. Originally, it was probably cattle or other income-producing property. In the later Classical period in Athens, the dowry was usually in the form of money.

Normally, the parents of prospective mates would negotiate with each other unless the groom was independent, and perhaps older. The groom would look for a potential mate based on her dowry, ability to reproduce, and household skills; love and sentiment rarely entered the mix. While men would often marry in their twenties and even into the early thirties, girls usually married young, at around fourteen to sixteen years old. It was not uncommon for a marriage to bring two families together who had business or political connections so that they might increase their families’ power. Occasionally, the marriage might bring together two opposing families, to reconcile them. Usually, the bride’s and groom’s feelings were not considered. If the girl’s family was wealthy and/or important, it was probably not difficult for the family to arrange a marriage; if there was such a difficulty, the family could engage a professional matchmaker, an older woman, who for a fee would arrange a marriage. These women were not held in high esteem, but they probably knew the various eligible men.

When a daughter was set to be married, there could be two possible outcomes. The daughter could become part of the groom’s family, or the son-in-law could become an extension of the bride’s family. In the former, the daughter usually had brothers who would inherit the family’s fortune and provide succession; in the latter, the daughter was often either an only child or had just sisters, and it was important for the continuity of the family for the son-in-law to be absorbed into the bride’s family.

There was the engyesis, or betrothal espousal, where the parents of the bride and groom confirmed the marriage contract. The bride’s father would formally announce that he was giving his daughter to her future husband for the purpose of producing legitimate heirs, and the future husband would reply “I take her,” indicating that their offspring would be entitled to inherit. It appears that if this espousal ceremony did not take place, then the rights of inheritance did not exist. Also, at this espousal, the matter of the dowry was decided.

When the marriage was contracted, the ceremonies would then take place. The first was theproaulia, a feast the day before the wedding where the newly betrothed couple would make aproteleia (offering) to the gods Artemis and Aphrodite. The feast would take place at the bride’s father’s house, and the gifts would typically be her childhood toys and clothes. A crucial part of this ceremony was the cutting of the bride’s hair and dedicating it, along with her girdle, to the goddesses. On the day of the wedding, the gamos (ceremony) would begin with a ritualistic bathing, where the bride and groom took a ritual bath in their respective homes in the loutra of holy water to purify their lives, and then they met at the bride’s home. The wedding feast began with the men eating, and then the bride and her female family members joining in. The feast continued with the celebration of the union between the bride and groom. The bride was then taken to the groom’s father’s home, where she was welcomed at his father’s hearth. The couple then consummated the marriage in order to produce children.

The following day, the epaulia (giving of gifts) took place. Relatives of the bride and groom offered gifts to the couple, which were carried into the couple’s house. The gifts would often be clothes, jewelry, perfume, pots, and furniture. These were gifts used for the bride’s establishment of a new household. The actual marriage ceremony may take place immediately, or more likely in the month of Gamelion (January), which was sacred to Hera, the goddess of the hearth and family.

The purpose of marriage was to produce children or legitimate offspring. If the marriage did not produce children, then a man could divorce his wife on grounds of being barren. In this instance, the remaining part of the dowry would be returned with the wife to her father’s family. The dowry was provided to ensure that the wife would be supported in case of the husband’s death or divorce. The dowry gave her power and authority over the husband, especially if she was from a wealthier family. Divorce could also be granted for adultery, with the dowry also returned to the wife’s family. Either party could initiate divorce.

The husband could do this by merely sending the wife back to her family and returning the dowry. For the wife to initiate divorce, she had to appear before an archon, or civil magistrate. Only her father could initiate a divorce if there was no child. If the wife committed adultery and it was discovered by the husband, he had to initiate divorce or be disenfranchised (i.e., giving up his citizenship, a severe punishment). Since many divorces were given on the ground of barrenness, it is probable that this was a common way to prevent embarrassment.

Since a woman’s father had to come up with the dowry, it was common for many families to desire male children; many families would expose their infant daughters to avoid raising them. Many of these exposed girls would die while others were rescued to become slaves in a family household. Those that remained probably produced a small number of women available for marriage, making them a prized commodity. This practice gave rise to an increase in the percentage of males over females in the population.

Since these young girls were married without knowing their future husband, and given that he was usually quite a bit older, love and sentiment probably did not figure into marriage until much later, if at all. It is possible that the two ultimately came to love one another, or at least have favorable feelings, but it is also clear that many marriages were performed merely to allow the continuation of a family’s lineage. Once a family had been established, the wife was in control of the household, including its servants and the raising of the children. Often the husband handed over to his wife the running of the estate, meaning that she often knew more about that than her husband. In addition, she had the opportunity to attend theatrical performances (that is, tragedies, but not comedies—they were seen as too risque). Women took part in the festivals, especially the Panathenaia and those created specifically for women, the Thesmophoria, the Haloa, and the Skira, which highlighted the reproductive powers of women and renewal of vegetation.

While marriage was designed for producing legitimate offspring and the continuation of the lineage for the husband’s family, it did provide some independence for the wife. She could excel in the running of the household and the family’s accounts. In Sparta, wives had even more freedom since they were in virtual control of the family’s estate and could even carry on relations with other men (including helots) if it led to an increase in the Spartan population. Marriage in the Greek world followed traditional customs, but like the political form of democracy, it allowed for the expanded role of citizens, including women.